LIFE and DEATH

I hadn't planned to talk to you for awhile, but life events compelled me to do so.

December 17, 2005

I received a call from my first cousin in NC that her sister, my younger first cousin by a year, was dying. My immediate reaction was one of despair. Quickly all the stuff I had put off doing where my cousin had been concerned flashed across my mind like a recorder in rewind.

All the birthday cards I was going to send her because she sent me one every year. Or the time I was going to call her after she came out of the hospital the last time before this time. Now it seem that Breast Cancer was doing to so many women...and men what it does at times, kill them and now I was left without the opportunity to say good-bye to my love one.

I cried and screamed out to God why, knowing I knew the answer before I even dared to speak the words. Like Job of the Old Testament, I had to ask God to forgive me and accept the fact that my cousin belongs to Him and He decided she had had enough pain.


December 18, 2005

At 2:49 am I received the call from my sister that our cousin had gone to be with the Lord.

As my sister sobbed through the phone wires, the only way I found to comfort us both through my own tears was to praise God and thank Him that my cousin was no longer in pain. I had to thank God that He felt my cousin had bore enough pain and took her home to be with Him. After all God said He would not put anymore on us than we could bare.

In her battle to fight this ugly disease, she always, always had been the the good trooper giving God the glory, honor and praise! I know of several times that I've talked to her through this journey, she has been the one to cheer me up when I thought I was calling her to cheer her up.

She was the Santa Claus of our family and so how fitting it was that the Lord took her during the holiday season.

Even in death, God still has a sense of humor.

Later on Sunday, December 18, 2005

Today it was important for me to contact my cousin's immediate family and express my condolence without using those exact words. I call it rather, "I just called to say I love you". Immediately I get the response, "I love you, too," and the conversation goes from there.

The weather experts had forecast doom and gloom with ice, sleet and cloudy skies all day. But glory to God, the Father had a different plan!! It was a gorgeous day!! Beautiful and I mean absolutely beautiful weather was what we had. Clear blue skies with clean puffy white clouds and it was warm! The kind of warm where you can wash your car without a jacket.

The weather experts had to apologize for their huge error, but heck they don't know everything even with all their fancy gear.

It was a very good day to go home and be with the Lord.

Rest in peace Cuz, Sherri A. Smith. (I know you are now and I miss you)

P.S. Since life events remind us over and over again that life is too short, I want to admonish you to live each day to the fullest and don't harbor any animosity in your heart. You never know when it just might be your last time to see someone.

I love you,